Does every significant event in life which requires change of mind, heart or direction need to be noisy, catastrophic, and outwardly overwhelming ? Do we need to be recognized as hero, victim, or villain in order to validate our existence and get credit for our actions?
The television medium has become inundated with so called "reality"shows. It would seem that the temperament of the shows is more about exaggerating life situations and providing us with loud and dramatic actions and interpretations from the participants in their efforts to survive or conquer the existing situation.
My personal experience reminds me that the more fearful, guilt-ridden and selfish the problem becomes, the louder it gets. The dramatic yelling, defensive reactions, and painful accusations are all smoke screens for the internal suffering of disappointment, regret, and pain. I have also seen , within my own dilemmas and the dilemmas of others, that quick and destructive actions and choices exist to help sever and eradicate any attachment for the person and situation that might remain in our vulnerable and weaker side. Those actions of severe disassociation or "burning bridges" seem to be the easiest and quickest way to solve a painful situation but the embers of anger and hurt smolder for years to come and can be revived by future similar connections. Unhealed resentments are poison to future joy and happiness.
If I allow myself the selfish indulgence of needing to "be right" in most all situations and relish putting the blame elsewhere, happiness and emotional health and balance get harder and harder to achieve. Taking a personal "time out" to reassess actions and behaviors and choose the kindest and most real expression of who we are in any situation allows us a chance to get it right on all counts. Everything ending, particularly in regards to relationships, doesn't have to be horrendous, pain inflicting and final. Maybe some will be but choosing to let go instead of destroying everything in order to do that may suffice. We destroy and maim a large piece of our heart and soul when we want to destroy another.
We don't have to leave the evidence of our change by what we destroyed. Sometimes we can choose to change on the inside and move forward. In the end, the wake of that quiet subtlety could be the game changer of our whole life. For me it is.
No comments:
Post a Comment