Traveling and journeying definitely are my themes at present because, as I mentioned earlier, I literally am on a trip around the United States. I have put all my worldly goods in storage that I elected to keep (contained in a 5 x 10 storage space), minus the basic essentials for surviving and thriving in my 18 ft camper/trailer that I travel and live in at present. My goal is to see how little I need to survive and be happy at the same time. It's quite a lift to let go of material things However, this has not been the first time I have rid myself of most material possessions. It's probably the 3rd or fourth time. I have chosen to do so while married, because of the marriage dissolving, and during a spiritual crisis which required me to hurriedly detach from the past, at least apparently and temporarily.
Am I just a neurotic personality that can't be at peace? In the past, I would agree that running away from or to something or someone seemed to solve a lot of issues. As anyone may well know or has experienced, that is always a temporary fix. Ultimately, I realized that the world was not the problem, the situation was not the problem; I was the problem. No matter where I went, there I was. Having realigned my spiritual and moral compass, and having surrendered to the goodness in me and my life, I would say that this is definitely the first time I feel free from the inside out and my motivation is a Higher One. I definitely want to feel more life and contribute, at the very least, by adding to balancing the harmony and connected compassion that is so lost yet so desperately necessary in today's world. I have discovered, for me, that sitting quietly in meditation and secluding myself from Humanity creates a contradiction in my soul. I read once in a book of self-improvement, that "if you want peace, you have to be peace.". Refreshing one's soul with the beauty that nature provides is sometimes like being reborn but finding that same amazing sense of wonder, balance and assurance, even when one is in the midst of the chaos and the cacophony of apparent human confusion and discord, that would be the greatest achievement of all. I am not traveling to separate myself. I'm expanding to offer myself and to be received and to receive in return. It's Humanity I have run from and it is Humanity that I move closer towards. I believe the secrets of the universe are not just in the heavens and the stars and the mountains and the oceans but within the souls of all of us, of humanity. I have mistaken mine, in the past, as a punishment or torment, rather than a gift with a purpose. . I have felt that Humanity has been the cause of my dissatisfaction rather than the answer to my prayers. I don't want to be greater than or less than anyone. I just want to know what it feels like to be part of The One that lives in us all.
So my journey is from here to humanity.
Thoughtful
ReplyDelete