Changing Pace, Adding Space

I am in SLO MO. I have lost the motivation to be speedy,  grasp more, or interact constantly.  My dance has changed from salsa to waltz and music from Rock band to orchestra. The hurried version of viewing and experiencing life whereby I barely glimpsed at the people and situations I encountered left sketchy memories and blurry pictures filed in my memoirs. I always wondered why I couldn't remember significant portions of my life. In my urgency to find what I thought I wanted, I treated life situations like going to a garage sale and barely scanning the many undesirable discards hoping to find at least one thing I might want. If it wasn't as I had hoped or imagined I probably paid little attention to anything that crossed my path or even presented itself as a possible gift to my life.  I missed a lot, forgot a lot and ignored a lot. It's no wonder I came to a summary of self much lacking in joy or satisfaction.

This slower motion adds more "pixels" to my absorption of each moment, more space between breaths and memories.  The experiences are becoming more memorable, more personal, and real. I can sit here today with minimal judgement or expectation of what this day might look like and provide. I am not in a rush to get to where I think I am supposed to be but rather accept and receive the inspiration of today. I hook up with my spiritual "internet" and try to get the message or assignment designed to utilize my energy in the best way possible. I may not have a duty roster as in the past but I know, if nothing else, I choose to contribute to life rather than just take or believe I deserve more than my share. And in SLO MO, the gift is more seeing, feeling, receiving and remembering. Today a minute could contain a significant page of my history and a day could be a lifetime.  And today, I just might remember it.