Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The All-Consuming Smallest Thing.


It fascinates me how one relatively small event can obliterate a total moment. For example, having gotten stung by a wasp more than once that small spot on my body that received the microscopic dose of venom can totally consume my consciousness for a minute to hours or even days depending on my sensitivity. The amazing piece of machinery I know as my body may be functioning at peak levels; heart is beating, breathing continues, all organ systems are working just fine. But that tiny event, that stinger penetrating my skin and the poison infusion starts off the most amazing series of responses. I can become totally oblivious to everything else and focus ONLY on the pain I am experiencing and seeking any method for removing that pain.
Barring the unexpected death of a loved one, I see this happening in life when painful, disappointing events show up suddenly and we feel unprepared and victimized by such circumstances. One word, one gesture, one disappointment or loss can change the course of the perception or attitude we have prior to the event. It can consume thoughts, hearts and souls of those who have no defense against the unexpected pain or struggle life can present.
If I can see life as large and continuos, holding as much promise as I can be open to, then each "sting" will be temporary and can be treated and soothed. Therein lies the greatest challenge: for me to have the spiritual, mental and emotional peace and confidence to take each day as a present and be present in it, accept pain for change, and not be a "victim" of circumstance.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Mistaking Identity


Throughout my life I've met people who made a very strong impression on me. It may be in the way they walked, talked, the piercing eyes, the sense of humor, the neurotic behavior or the strong controlling personality, to name but a few. Negatively or positively, the impressions remain indelibly marked and the memories can be triggered unexpectedly.
Now, seeing a familiar face, someone who reminds me of another, or watching a familiar scene with different and unknown players can create entertaining moments but depending on the intensity of the memory it might cause a replication in my feelings towards that person or situation. My pre existing feelings could prejudice a response or attitude, and predestine the outcome of any interaction. In other words, i respond as i did in the past and perpetuate either a negative behavior or an unrealistic expectation by that sense of familiarity- the instinctual reminder of previous feelings.
Regardless of whether or not these triggers stimulate a recoil, avoidance, or an overly sentimental response, the question I ponder is by so doing have I condemned or restricted a new opportunity to the same, repetitious, predictable outcome as before? Have I missed the chance to allow a more intense, profound, or enjoyable moment pass me by? I may have unknowingly created a case of mistaking an identity for another and dismissing and discarding a potential awakening and a personal growth opportunity. If I could possibly see the world differently I would be able to improve my own experience and the effect I have on the surrounding environment in return. Let me not hold our humanity hostage by my limited experience, rather let me be captured and enraptured by all that come to me in life. With new eyes and an open and willing heart, together we create a new story, a better read with, hopefully, a better ending.