Spirit, Our New BFF

Spirit, Our New BFF

I have struggled with a comfortable way of relating to a spirit, The Divine Spirit, God, the Source.......  But I have already taken the leap of faith, put stock in and received comfort from the acceptance and knowing of this existence. The toughest part is finding a direct contact and relationship that works in this day to day, apparently unspiritual, world that we all live in.

 If I only think of the Big Guy in the Sky theory, he is too far away and unavailable for a lowly peon like myself.  But by keeping God or the idea of one, personal, up close and available I have begun to sense, communicate with,  and develop an individual friendship with this Spirit of Oneness. If all things are possible in the world of Spirit, then my development in that relationship is as important and unique as all parts of creation.  When I think of my Spirit connection it has now become a personal friend who has my back, knows and loves me without hesitation, helps me see the bigger and better picture if I am open to that,  and always with me, for me, and loyal to me until the end of my days. It is my truest friend I can imagine.  Not imaginary in the sense that it is unreal, but imagined and experienced through my real world. There is a balance, a peace and serenity in this acceptance and a fearlessness when facing each new day. This Spirit friend ever remains the perfect fit and allows my human experience to have a mystical beauty within its path. I now sense the safety of a light and a spiritual friend to show me the way -  Now I am no longer lost and no longer alone. Flying solo without a clear direction or specific destination is highly overrated. Rather than Spirit being my copilot, I am presently and happily along for the ride.  

Blood or Nectar?

Blood or Nectar?

For me, the truest, most vivid, and memorable growth comes after great difficulty and is usually accompanied by some level of pain. The indelible scar or mark left after the challenge in life that redirects our course in understanding and action, may eventually heal but forever remain as the testimony of that significant event. Not unlike the old arthritic knee, the twinges and reminders of past life events may not be bothersome each day but prevent us from returning to our former uninhibited (and occasionally misguided) selves, by flaring up in an unexpected moment lest  we forget our past lessons and outcomes. 

But rather than see life as the inevitable torture chamber of growth we could turn the vice-like vision, the squeezing out of life blood,  as the God of Nectar extracting the best and sweetest essence that lives within our selves.  We are here to savor, taste and imbibe in the drops of sweetness, joy, and love that are extracted from the fruits of our experience and become aware of their value from how they were obtained. In this knowing, the intoxication from the nectar of life seems to last longer and taste sweeter as my time goes by. 

The Pragmatic Spiritualist.

The Pragmatic Spiritualist

When I think of the word "pragmatic" it conjures up the image of practical actions based on obvious outcomes that consistently produce desirable consequences. The emphasis is on tried and true evidence that can be replicated with consistency and a certain amount of predictability.   

On the flip side when I consider the word spirituality it would appear to be the opposite characteristic - formless, immaterial, unbodied, unsubstantial, and indescribable. 

We as humans seem to have a need for both, predictability and physical security as well as the spiritual food that sustains a hungry and aspiring soul. So how does one become a pragmatic spiritualist, the synthesis of both worlds?  How does one join a  concrete, defined and predictable, earthly persona with the spiritual, ethereal and nonmaterial aspect of a being of soul and not feel spiritually and emotionally schizophrenic? 

As long as I consider them to be opposite and disconnected from each other it could create a lifelong conflict, a veritable tug of war between the seen and unseen; the intellect and the intuition UNLESS I choose to join them In a harmonious balance of the Yin and Yang of Spirit, the paradox of the divinity living inside each limited form and each individual a part of the broad and calculated scope of the Source, the most Pragmatic of all Spiritualists. Just because I don't understand how to bridge these two worlds does not mean it isn't possible.  If I only base my literal understanding of life on the obvious physical world, spirituality adds only confusion, like looking at modern art you can't connect to. If the puzzle that is life is allowed to expand beyond the borders of my need for linear and plausible visual aids, the impossible can become possible, the implausible plausible. 

For me it has to be both. As borderless as my spiritual thoughts are, believing  and knowing of the existence of Source and divinity in me and around me and postulating means nothing for me if there is no way to connect and feel its existence right here and now. All the spirituality I have must be revealed and manifested in my daily life through action, thought, word and feelings.  I choose to live as though it already exists and that it is perfectly plausible and obvious, limited only by my narrow understanding.   With that connection established I recognize that I have been given an intuitive road map for the spiritual part of the journey as well as evidence from those before me and with me who provided examples of our human responsibilities, challenges and rewards. I have the choice of applying these experiences and tools, and I do. So far, the outcomes of this way of being, human and practical, soulful and spiritual, has reinforced for me that it produces good outcomes, is measurable by my amount of serenity and joy, replicable by inspired behavior that can be used over and over to generate well being in me and in others, and spiritual as it connects me to the Source and The Oneness that makes me whole.  As usual though, it's a work in progress. 

To the Love I Have Yet To Find

I am sensing you through the touch of others. There is a part of you in all the hearts I have known. I find sweetness in the eyes of laughter. I find fragments of that joy when my heart is touched by one of the lovely souls that comes into my orbit. But it is only fleeting as none of them are meant to stay and be with me, so I must repeatedly experience the pain of loss and emptiness and longing. The paradox is that the soul must be full and beautiful and ready to love in order to receive and recognize true love. Emptiness, neediness, and desire have never invited or created the most loving or lasting relationships.

It is I who forestall the union of hearts as I must be kinder to myself,  the person to be loved. I must be steadfast in that mission and truer to the course as one who awaits a gift only given in its own and unexpected time. To find that true soul I must find my own and love my own precious and divine self.

To those I have placed in the path of my inexperienced and handicapped attempt at sincerity in relationship , I can only ask forgiveness for my awkward and unfulfilling attempt at giving and receiving love. It always ended up with me wanting more than I was able to give. I only hope, as it has been for me, that you have reaped the benefit of our momentary connection or collision and were inspired to acknowledge that you deserve more and better. May you also have found the eternal love from which  all true love blossoms and thrives.

When I originally wrote this, I was honestly pondering and wishing for a soul partner in my life. For me, that is the one true deeper love experience when two souls and hearts recognize each other from the inside out. I have since begun to realize that this letter is directed at the truest love of my life which is The Spiritual Essence and caretaker of my soul.  However, as a human, I look for that essence and reflection in a physical form. I think we all do. May we all become and find the one that elevates our souls and helps us feel whole and abiding in the Beloved embrace. 

The Infinite Human Experience

The Infinite human experience

Life, my life, your life, our life (and I do mean our life since I see it all connected as one huge thing not just separate multiple ones) is a curious, amazing, frustrating, profound, confusing and remarkable experience. The longer I am here the broader and simpler it becomes.  In other words, outside of scientific, artistic, and man made creations,  the root and core of our existence has not changed significantly. The human struggle, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually repeats itself over and over.  

This replication of experience and struggle throughout the generations of mankind is a  a marvel  to contemplate. As often as we see it, read about it, remember it, or discuss it, we have done very little to change it.  And can we? 

Is this merely the rat-in-the-maze parallel universe humans are unknowingly repeating, with very little difference in  response to behavior based on joy or pain, desire, fulfillment, generosity  or self- destruction? 

Amazingly enough, it would appear that as long as we see ourselves as merely individuals, egocentric beings that seek only self stimulation and self-fulfillment, then, I would venture to say the answer is yes. They don't call it the rat race for nothing.  

But the mere fact that I can ponder this and write about it suggests that each of us has the potential to step outside of this repetitious, narrowminded perception and consider the possibility that there are other alternatives in theory as well as in choice. 

I personally believe that the highest ambition is to end up where we started. I am of the belief that children are born pure and connected to their four basic energies; spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional. There is no separation of these awarenesses and no contradiction in perception.  They are pure, spiritual, instinctive, and physical beings at the beginning of their human experience. From the moment a child arrives in this world the scales begin to tip and depending on their experiences, those four pillars of being will become imbalanced. The spiritual connection seems to suffer the most and it is my opinion that that is the root of all our suffering. We lose balance, connection, identity and contact with our soul and essence.  It's no wonder most individuals go through some phase, sometimes long and agonizing phases, of feeling lost, discouraged, disconnected and purposeless. It is pretty easy to find readings, commentaries and conversations where people ponder the same question. "Who am I and what is the purpose of my existence?" I can't  imagine that a rat is experiencing the same conundrum. 

So if our mind, emotions, and soul can imagine a different existence, one higher than a mere rat can, then it would seem logical that we should be able to experience and create or recognize a better one. 

This is what I call the infinite human experience. The infinity of it is the continuous flow and repetition of the life experience in all humanity. None of us get a pass on being human to its fullest extent. It's like the life-and-death process. That circle will never be broken. Neither will the challenge. We begin in simplicity, clarity and pure love. The goal is to allow ourselves to be rejoined with our pillars of beauty - in mind, heart, body and soul ;  Restored and reborn. Each life represents the never ending circle - the infinity from our higher Source  into our finite existence. The paradox remains-we must enter the maze and find the way out in order to be "a-mazed" and finally above and beyond the maze - one person at a time ad infinitum.