I am experiencing a personal, internal conundrum. My inside does not match my outside. I know others are faced with similar confusion at some point in life and respond accordingly.
For some, the life unfolding process from a youthful budding persona slows to a acceptable and expected halt. It takes the wind out of the sails; aging and surrendering to the diminished interest in life and personal discoveries, physical limitations and inspiration, and personal desire.
For others, they fight tooth and nail to defy the lackluster defeat and the slow and insidious decay reflected in that daily visitation with the mirror. Whether the choice be artificial means to literally mask the deteriorating changes, buying expensive sport cars and getting hair plugs, or choosing clothing that represent a much younger lifestyle and appearance, the battle rages on and it is a fight to the finish.
For me, at least for this moment , it's neither one, though I have visited both encampments. Unexpectedly, my life has taken an amazing turn, and though the years are indelibly recorded on my physical odometer reading, I feel a newness that belies this status. I stand between what I have done and where I have been , and what I still might have an opportunity to do and become. It's not even a case of dreams anymore. It's a case of being offered the unknown life that I haven't had the chance to experience. I have been wandering through my life with half vision. I've only seen half truths; half of the opportunities and their worth, half of who I am, and half of who I thought everyone else was, and not always the better half. By letting go of my limited perception and direction, I have been given a chance to see and participate in the bigger, clearer picture. It's an amazing gift to receive at this stage of life to feel youthful joy for unknown possibilities, understanding, and experiences in this seasoned chassis. Who would've thought......
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