Many of us (probably most of humanity) have said these words out loud or silently, with great intensity or in quiet meditation. I have experienced both sides of the spectrum. I have cried out in sobs and tears, shouting upward and outward to an unknown heaven, needing to be heard and given an answer to my painful misfortune and broken hearted confusion. I have also begrudgingly seen other benefited persons and wondered why they seem to get a larger share of the pie, better looks, more boyfriends, or just more personal satisfaction and peace in life than I had ever been privileged to experience.
Today, though, my silent or reflective "Why me or why not me?" comes from a very different perspective. In my daily meditation or reflections of where I am today and how I got here I am more inclined to the gratitude of -
Why have I been spared from a dreadful disease? Why could one person change their life and others just cannot no matter how desperate the circumstance? Why is death kinder to one and devastating for another? Why was I given the gift of faith and a way to peace, and find comfort in serenity at this point in life while others I see or know remain sadly disconnected and unfulfilled and confused.
This life is not a measuring stick of good and evil, at least not in my ponderings. I'm the last person who can explain any of it, but I do believe that this is a huge universe, engulfed by a huge Spirit that allows the perfect reflection of the best and the worst in life and the free will to choose. I realize that it's so much bigger than just me and the answers to the Whys or Why Nots of life become less and less important. It's more important every day to be here, be present, and participate in life the best and most consciously intentioned way that I can. Why? Why not.....
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