The. Dark Hole conundrum

It has come to "light" that I grew up with a dark hole in my heart and soul.  I doubt anyone could see it as I developed a talent for appearing to be personable, clever, smart, and likeable.  The duality of this existence was like a split soul existing in one body.  The lighter being grasped for all things joyful or encouraging but when the fruits of these efforts were taken inside the darker soul poured her half down into the darkness and could suck the light right down into the bottomless stomach of that hungry and starving part of her being. There were times when the dark sister claimed the lions share of the food of life given to both but there were also spans of time where she slept whilst her lighter twin grew in strength and determination. Then the dark sister would awaken and strip all the progress of self accomplished in those times of light. Never a balance was maintained - only a battle for control.  Where did this sadness and despair begin and what fed its pitiful existence?   At some point it's not easy to say I know why or how but it has taken more than just thought and will to fill that empty void and provide a more fertile filler for growth.  I have allowed the grace and gifts of my higher being to flood my mind, heart and soul and thus plant the climbing vine of hope to begin the shredding of the dark fabric.  Only light, love, forgiveness, humility, and faith have provided the substance that can fill up that hole.  Thus I came from a hole to becoming whole.